<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	>

<channel>
	<title></title>
	<atom:link href="http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://chrisilluminati.com</link>
	<description></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:49:32 +0000</pubDate>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1</generator>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
			<item>
		<title>How to keep your kid from ruining your career</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1594</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1594#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:49:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Before Child]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dad-icus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[On the web]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Aunt Becky]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Mommy Wants Vodka]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1594</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;ve developed a system. It&#8217;s simple but it works. On my days off, I hit to the gym early (faking an amazing workout), come home for breakfast, shower and complete all the little distracting tasks of the day before sitting down with a massive jug of coffee and writing.  It works and I do my [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1594</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Do you know what a chubby is?</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1589</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1589#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:09:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Tales of Whoa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[boner]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chubby]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dads]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1589</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Life. Full of hysterical moments. Peeing on cats or pulling out dildo pops in front of your old man are funny stories to tell over a nice glass of grain alcohol. Of course, they are only hysterical long after the fact and to innocent third parties.
A perfect example of one of those stories was waiting [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1589</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to sleep with a pregnant woman</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1583</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1583#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:32:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Before Child]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dad-icus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[prenancy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[sleeping]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1583</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
It was the perfect arrangement. The wife was a bear. She could fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything. The moment she found herself horizontal she was out cold. I hate doing it missionary because I think she&#8217;ll pass out before I have the chance to finish. Wake up baby! This is three minutes of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1583</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Paperwork proves you&#8217;re a virgin. Stuffed animals on your bed were the second clue.</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1576</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1576#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:54:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[virgin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1576</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
The wife forces me to watch the Bachelor (you argue with a preggo!) and this week the dude 86&#8242;ed a girl who was saving her tuzzy muzzy for marriage AND wouldn&#8217;t even consider living with a guy before they got hitched. Being on the Bachelor is her third worst idea ever.
All of a sudden virgin [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1576</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Men don&#8217;t like their moobs</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1568</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1568#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:51:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[gym]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[male surgery]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[moobs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1568</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
(Yes, two straight days of hot, man-candy pics. Quite a week.)
Nothing sexier than a man with big chesticles am I right ladies? No? Fine. Lop those suckers off in record number.
Breast reduction for men is the fastest-growing part of the cosmetic surgery industry for the second year running, plastic surgeons have said. The number of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1568</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to avoid becoming a fat dad</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1559</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1559#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:47:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Before Child]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dad-icus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Great Fitness Experiment]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[workout]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1559</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;ve written about the times I&#8217;ve fallen off the workout wagon and the time a scale almost gave me a coronary. The whole reason I started working out was because a girl called me &#8220;cute but chubby&#8221; when I was lugging around my freshman fifteen.
It&#8217;s no surprise married people pack on the pounds. Recent studies [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1559</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dad to kid: &#8220;Bite those cops&#8217; faces off!&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1554</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1554#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:12:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[cops]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1554</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I can relate to this father o&#8217; the year candidate. Sometimes you just need to unwind and grab some shut eye anywhere you can. Let he who has not fallen asleep in the McDonald&#8217;s ball pit cast the first plastic green ball!
Police in Colorado say they arrested a 28-year-old man accused of passing out in [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1554</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Songs in the key of Salvation (Army)</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1535</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1535#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:09:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Before Child]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Tales of Whoa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[records]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[salvation army]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1535</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My coworker has a amazingly cool online vintage store. Once in a while I&#8217;ll drive her around to a Salvation Army or Goodwill shops near our work. Last trip, I found a huge collection of records. It&#8217;s picture time.

GUYS! SRICK SHOES! Classic flick. Made it socially acceptable to laugh at fat children, the handicapped and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1535</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>If the afterlife is like this life I want off this shit cart</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1527</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1527#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:49:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Christory]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Tales of Whoa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1527</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
My television viewing. My music choices. The clothes I wear. All indicators that I&#8217;m getting older because they are much different than what Illuminati 1.0 would choose to watch, download or wear. I love pointing this out in conversation.
&#8220;Here is how I know I&#8217;m getting old, I was watching the History channel and..&#8221; 
I don&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1527</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Cat&#8217;s in the cradle. Technically, the crib.</title>
		<link>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1521</link>
		<comments>http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1521#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:32:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Illuminati</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Before Child]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dad-icus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[baby]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[cat]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Stephen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrisilluminati.com/?p=1521</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The baby&#8217;s room is close to complete. Over the weekend I put together the crib. Since then, I&#8217;ve found the cat lying inside of it about four times. The last time he jumped in, I grabbed the flip cam. Practicing my dad persona. It didn&#8217;t work out so well.

I&#8217;m kind of nervous that the cat [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://chrisilluminati.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=1521</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
