Most of us have been fired at least once in our career. Personally, I’ve gotten the hook twice. Another joint closed down so that’s almost three.

It happens. I used to be of the mindset that if someone did me wrong, I’d find a way to get the last laugh. Some crazy ideas ran through my head. Luckily, better judgment took over and I stopped listening to the worm at the bottom of the Tequila. He is incredibly persuasive though. And so adorable. Look at that little sombrero. Try to say no. He is like a little Mexican Tony Robbins!

Anyway here are some of the ways I’m sure all of us that got pink-slipped thought about taking care of business and why they are all pretty bad ideas.

1) Going down swinging- Getting fired isn’t a personal attack. It’s just business. Don’t turn the situation into a confrontation. Don’t ever make it physical or bring in other uninvolved parties like coworkers or the chubby guy in security. Its bad enough you are unemployed you don’t need to be involved in a police investigation. Plus, your boss could take you in one punch. He does P90X every morning. You don’t want to be fired AND embarrassed.

2) Sabotage- Once you are out the door, don’t start bad mouthing the company to their clients and competition. Don’t burn bridges if you want to work in this field in the future. It could come back to bite you on the can. If anything, be as nice about the situation as possible. Kill them with kindness. Also, don’t rat on your friends and coworkers. Don’t start pointing fingers and laying blame. Remember that former coworkers are also potential contacts for future employment. John from accounting isn’t going to hook you up with a name at his brother’s company if you tell the boss he is busy updating his Twitter page all day. No matter how dumb his Tweets are. Awesome, you had a great lunch, come here so I can kick you in the eardrum.

3) Wrecking the place- If they are nice enough to let you clean out your desk and grab some documents off the computer (I.E.-funny pictures), don’t damage company property. Just grab your personal affects, email all important contacts to your personal account (you really should have done that weekly) and leave the place like you are just going away for the weekend. Stay calm and quietly say goodbye to friends and coworkers. Hey! Hey! You forgot your bobble head .

4) Vengeance- Waiting for your boss outside his home, threatening ex-coworkers or their family or just returning to the workplace with the intent to harm are all bad ideas. It’s just a job. It’s not worth losing your life or taking the life of another. Things are never as bad as they seem. Except this whole Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo break-up. That seems awful. Call me Jess, I’ll be your crotch to cry on? Ha, did I say crotch. I meant penis.

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