Chris Illuminati

The assorted work of a recovering a**hole



I’ve written for Rolling Stone, AskMen, Details, Men’s Health, Cosmo, Nerve, The Outside Game, Maxim and Penthouse. I’m also the author of five books.

Some of favorite pieces include the bizarre story of a high school friend who now works as a Zach Galifianakis impersonator on the streets of Las Vegas, the return of the wrestling jobber and the odd but true story behind the characters in Dazed and Confused.


Every Single Song In Your iTunes Library Can Be Traced Back To This Historic City [BroBible]

Tim Tebow And The Business Of Being A Spectacle [The Outside Game]

The Crazy But Real Life Stories of the Characters From Dazed and Confused [ScreenCrush]

The 25th Anniversary of Die Hard: How John McClane Changed Action Movies (and Us) Forever [ScreenCrush]

A Stay-At-Home Dad’s Survival Guide [Men’s Health]

How One Guy Turned Smashed iPhones Into A College Education [BroBible]

Why We Lie And How To Recover After Getting Caught In A Life-Altering Deception [BroBible]

Here Are The Things Only People With Adult ADHD Will Understand [BroBible]

I Went 30 Days Without Masturbating — Here’s My Story [BroBible]

If Prince William Doesn’t Have to Wear a Wedding Ring, Why Should I? [Ask Men]

How To Survive a Job You Hate  [Ask Men]

These Are 10 Perverted Behaviors Every Guy Must Stop Doing [Ask Men]

The Argument Against Yoga [Ask Men]

Top 10 Things He Doesn’t Want to Hear About Your Ex [Cosmo]

Before You Were Born: The Real Jersey Shore [Nerve]


The Second Act Of A Fallen Angel

Jim Norton Discusses Being Offended, Hookers And The One Thing About College Kids He Just Doesn’t Understand

Author Of ‘The Game’ Explains In New Book ‘The Truth’ How Being Able To Get Any Woman Almost Ruined His Life

We Talked To A Student Living In A Hut That He Built In The Woods And His College Life Seems Way More Awesome Than Ours

Marc Maron Discusses the WTF Podcast and…Health Insurance?

Mick Foley is the only comic who wants to get heckled

Chris Jericho Talks Life on the Road, His Favorite Matches and Plays Battleship

I’ve also talked to Aisha Tyler, Craig Robinson, Whitney Cummings and countless other people for a website that sadly no longer exists and neither do the interviews.


Click here to read my fiction work.


8 Things I Wish I Knew About Teens Before Kidnapping This One [Runt of The Web]

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