While there are a few exceptions like the Old Spice dude, overall, the ads on television are cancer to my mind. I tune them out in an effort to maintain my level of stupidity and not dip any closer to dangerous lows.

There is one commercial that especially pisses me off every time. It’s impossible to ignore. It has stood up over time because it’s as moronic now as it was the first time it polluted my eyeballs a couple hundred viewings ago.

Man sitting on couch reading newspaper. It’s already bullshit because no one reads the paper anymore. Wife enters in whorish dress made for a woman half her age. Man starts babbling about credit card points and taking a trip. A trip covered by said points. The whole time his wife is smiling and going “we can’t, we can’t” and trying to interrupt him and pop his thought bubble that has them sun-baking in the tropics. She gets a chance to speak and reveals that the dress was purchased with those points. He smiles all horny and we assume they go bump their privates together.

The permanent roommate and I have an agreement. The vows made us a tag team. Everything is “ours”. Her debt is my debt. My car is her car. Our credit card points are our credit card points. If we’ve got the chance to cash them in to get the fuck out of dodge, there is no discussion, we are on the next flight as far as the points will take us. She wouldn’t be so dumb as to blow them all on a dress just as I wouldn’t waste them all on something like baseball tickets or a new God damn sports coat. Especially when not even discussing the ideas with one another.

Cue paramedics as the man explains he was actually able to shove the credit card statement so far down her gullet it came out her ear canal like a sausage does a grinder. The paramedics let out a chuckle as the man points to the dress. Fade to black.

That’s how that commercial ends in my mind. He then uses the points to flee the country.

Maybe that is what they mean by Chase Freedom.

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