Hello, welcome to my little corner of the internet. Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.

Here is more than you’ll ever really want to know about me — These are the books I’ve written, these are the places I’ve done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I’ve written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

Also, one of my tweets was named best jokes of the year by the New York Post, which is cool, considering I imagined the only way to get into the Post was by being the backup quarterback for the New York Jets or killing someone.

46 thoughts on “Bio

  1. Your link to your best jokes of the year goes to a “Page Not Found” on the New York Post. I guess I’ll take your word for it :/

  2. I am a father with a hot coworker, too. In regards to Thomas the Tank Engine and his best friends “Percy.” My son associated anything blue as Thomas and green as “Percy.” While at the grocery store my son wanted some green Gatorade and asked very loudly if he could have some pussy juice. When he saw my face he said mommy lets me have pussy juice. I bought him a case of that shit….

  3. I’m a casting director looking for funny parents for a new docu-series. Can you please email me your contact info and I can give you more information. Would like to interview you. Thanks! -isabel

  4. One question, how the heck can you get them to shut up when they inconveniently are more intellectually willing to wear you to the one and beyond I of course am talking about the dreaded 9 year old please save me!

  5. I thought for certain all your post-it notes were written by a woman. Cracked me up, but hands down, a woman. Well done.
    Wish I read your “buying toys based on how much they hurt when you step on them in the dark” before xmas. Inbox me timely advice please?
    PS…I’m in need of being someone’s hot co-worker. You should have a resume page :)

  6. Your stuff is hilarious and I am saving your page so my soon-to-be-a-stay-at-home-dad husband can learn what it’s really like on the inside (he is a couple of years behind you though). Right now he thinks it will just be shits and giggles… Anyway, love your stuff. I look forward to reading more.

  7. Loved reading all
    Reminded me of when my kids were little had me thinking of my favorite stories of them…
    we had one of our boys believing in blinker fluid till he needed a new bulb.

  8. Bored at work and stumbled upon your beauty of a blog. Hilarious stuff! I’m going to start showing everyone I know. You’ve earned it.

  9. LOVE IT!!! I only wish I had your insight when our daughter was growing up… at 31, it’s a little late for her and for us. Hey, maybe for my wife, that’s an idea that I can make hay with!

  10. Great Stuff! So reminded me of the days when I was raising my boys myself! Now a grandfather of 3 and seeing it all over again. Giving your notes to the young dads so they can be prepared! Good luck!

  11. Incredibly fun to read! My daughter constantly makes me laugh with little quips. Her latest is the following: Me: “You’re kind of weird sometimes.” Her: “You made me this way!” It never ends.

  12. Chris, your writing style is wonderful and I’m glad I follow your updates. :) I’m excited to read your books next!

  13. I tripped onto your page by lucky accident and spent the next two hours lol’ing. I recently went back to work, and while my hubs is still active duty in the military and our kids are school aged, he has picked up quite a bit of my slack. I often wonder what goes on when Im not around…..are the girls covering for him? LOL Had circumstances been different I imagine he would be walking in your shoes. The song/video by Lonestar – Mr. Mom plays in my head on repeat. Wish I had a camera following him around. I bet it would make great youtube hits. Love your stuff. Keep the laughs coming. Best of luck.

  14. Hey Chris! I love reading your stuff, you have no idea. I accidentally found you when I was skyping with my now ex boyfriend JonMark about a month ago, and I keep watching your stuff seeing everything you post. I particularly enjoy it, because even though I’m not a stay at home dad, I help my mom (I’m a girl) take care of my two brothers, and I played a major parental role in my baby brothers life, and a lot of the things you post I can relate to because I have dealt with the same stuff! Keep up the great work and just know that in July when I go to Great Lakes Training Center in Chicago for my Basic and A-School, You are going to be the first things I look up on the internet (once I’m allowed back on the internet that its). Keep it up!

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